all's fair in love and oars: a talent i don't have

My name is Niki. Only strangers and perturbed relatives call me Nicole. I have been addicted to Emo for 14 years, which says a lot about a 24 year old. I have a library card and have used it in the past 6 months. I have a cd of all my favorite movie quotes. I can run to this. I can propel a boat at high speeds using only spandex and two sticks. I did this at UConn at the expense of sleep. I can take attendance of 5 drunkards using only two words, "Yes Cup". I can both play and watch sports. Beer and stadium food or pizza help this. If I say baseball, you should say "SOX". If I say Yankees, you should say "SUCK". I used to be a store-front model. I have a sung the National Anthem at a sporting event. My boyfriend has more vowels in his name than consonants. People trust me. March of the Penguins is the scariest movie I have ever seen. There will be no ceiling fans in my house, ever. I once put over 4,000 miles on my car in 2 weeks. I have walked in the Garden of Eden. I am a good speller. I know for a fact that there is more to the Rocky Mountain High than beer commercials. My natural habitat is a hoodie. I am listening to how you say what you say, and I keep a best of book. I own many belts. More often than I care to admit I've lost games of Hide-N-Go-Seek with drama. If my life was a sitcom it would be on Thursdays at 8 on NBC. I'm too young for CBS, a little too naughty for ABC, but not enough for HBO. My supporting cast of friends and family, true characters all, would all get their own spin-offs. If you look hard enough at where the lyrics, lines, and loves intersect, that's where all my secrets are.

--the author of this is ryan travers (a kindred spirit)

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

a talent i don't have

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